Posted by: Jordan | December 24, 2010

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Similar to NATO, Mur has been engaged in an unwinnable war for the better part of a decade.  American led NATO troops in Afghanistan have wrestled with Taliban and insurgent forces since 2001 with few significant examples of success to show for their efforts.  Comparably, Mur has grappled with the squirrels in the backyard since 1997.  1997 was the year Mur began an aggressive campaign to feed the neighbourhood birds.  This was also the year the local squirrels started stealing Mur’s birdseed directly from Mur’s birdfeeders.  Acting as his own source of intelligence, Mur continuously developed strategies and devises to prevent the squirrels from stealing his birdseed. However, with every strategy and device came a successful counter attack from the squirrels.  Needless to say, the back and forth battles with the relentless squirrels has left Mur tired and mentally drained.

 

This morning my oldest brother and I were looking out the window and spotted a squirrel sprawled out on one of Mur’s birdfeeders helping himself to Mur’s birdseed.  We quickly alerted Mur that we had a visual on an insurgent at the 10 o’clock position.  Mur scurried to the window and said, “Yeah, those damn squirrels can get up there some how.”  Concerned with Mur’s response, my brother and I promptly questioned Mur’s commitment to the squirrel campaign.  Mur responded to our concerns by saying, “Well, if I had a pelican I could take care of the squirrels in no time.” Thinking Mur knew something about pelican’s that we didn’t, my brother and I asked what a pelican would do?  Mur said, “No, a pelican!” Still confused we repeated, “A pelican?”  Mur again said, “No, a pelican.”  Then the light bulb went off.  “OHHH, a pellet gun!”

 

What would Mur do if he had a squirrel insurgence problem in his backyard?  He would create a number of devices to keep the squirrels off his birdfeeders with limited success.  He would then declare that a pelican would solve the squirrel problem… I mean a pellet gun.

 

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Responses

  1. Ironic enough, my step mom bought my dad a “pelican” for Christmas for this same issue. It was from Canadian Tire for sure and it was barely visible due to the camouflage decals on it. Now that I have a backyard to call my own I have added a “pelican” to my Christmas list for next year; along with the DVD of the Christmas Story.


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